Oregon 2005 Nov Tom's visit, Mom to nursing home
From Tom: Oct 29, 2005
Hi siblings,
I arrived Saturday and was met by Kittiara Amelia Rene and her grandmother Sue. Sue did the driving back to RR. The baby slept in the back seat. Met the clan. Visited Rogue River and went to Grants Pass.
Dad had the cruise ship hospitality ready.....two pieces of hard candy on the dresser next to the bed. Mother said she was surprised by the visit. We chatted and planned the next day. Dinner out and then some gambling.
Sunday, went to church with Dad. Met Bill Bradley (usher) who said to say hello to mother.
After the chores were done... Went to JJ North....met Margaret and Mother.
Margaret took off shopping. The 3 of us then had buffet delight.
Margaret came back...and we all went to the Peterson abode for some serious gambling... Jonny, Margaret, this writer and Mom and Dad... Dealers' choice--poker.... The money and laughter flowed for 75 minutes. Mother was the big winner. She tried to quit the game early. Jonathan told her that she could not leave early until we all had a chance to win our money back... Mother stayed and played until the end. She won more money.
Monday...this writer arrived at 416 at 5:55 am. The house was quiet. Mother called at 6:30 AM. Is anybody here? (she asks) She was surprised to see me..
We talked about the meal out and the card playing she did not recall. I gave her a more detailed description of Sunday’s activities. Then she seemed to remember. She was anticipating the dinner and cards for Monday. Poor dear.
After 8-9 attempts, I was able to get mother out of bed and over to the bathroom.
90 minutes later we were in the kitchen having breakfast. Mother enjoyed looking out the window. Meds and prune...taken as prescribed.
Chatted about NH (nursing home) and mother talked about her declining health. Took a power nap for 15 minutes on the couch. Mother dozed in the chair.
Sue and David came over...bearing purple colored healthy smoothies in tall wine glasses.
Stephanie and her son Ethan came over for the next shift at noon.
This writer took off for the YMCA with twin Sue. Back to GP...shopping for Dad.
Stories of his escapes from earlier years were shared.
Tuesday. Nov 1st. Feast of All Saints.
Planning on going to the 12:05 Mass for the Solemnity. At 11:50 AM Dad says he is not feeling well. Sits in the chair. Face pale. Breathing gets shallow. Dad asked for a blanket. Reports pain in both arms and back. This writer tries to take a pulse. The patient refuses. Phone call to Twin Sue. She is at the Y. David Cotner will find her. David calls the Y...and staff goes looking for Sue. She is already in the parking lot. Gets my message on her cell phone. Dad's breathing becomes more diaphragmatic. Color slightly better. Increasingly cold. Requests down jacket and thick winter mittens. Writer offers tea. Pt refuses. A few minutes later patient request cup of hot water...with lemon... Detailed instructions provided by patient. Writer complies. Unable to find the small spoon with the ridges on it. Patient agrees to accept any small spoon. Color and voice are getting stronger. Writer provides supportive care. Sue, twin, arrives...and listens to detailed report of patient. Apparently, not a heart attack or stroke. Probably intense muscle spasm...due to excessive exercising on Halloween. Mood of patient improves. Reports stiffness and gets up to start moving around... Recovery escalates...patient more amiable.
Sue starts cooking beets .... And goes to store. Tom stays with Dad. Sue returns...Dad's focus returns to household chores and concerns. Said that the whole episode was scary.
Everyone seems fine now.
Kathy phoned. Shelby Rose is improving her rash is getting lighter and the itching is abating. Kathy waiting for appt with specialist on seizures up in Portland. Say a prayer, if you would, for Sheila Danielle. She went for a second ultra sound....the first one maybe was not done correctly. Baby is in position...Sheila still has 9 weeks to go...
All for now.... Tom
From Tom:
Wednesday, November 02, 2005 2:17 PM
Subject: beautiful day in Oregon
The sun is shining. Dad is laughing. The trees are wonderful shades of red and golden yellow.
It is a spectacular day in Oregon. Shelby Rose is improving health wise. Still struggling with sleep issues. Kathy was up at 2am. That's Kathleen Theresa Christine.
Margaret is taking tomorrow off. Susan is looking after Kittiara Amelia Renee.
And Susan Joan Elizabeth will be working the next 5 evenings---5pm-1am...
Margaret Ann Patricia is requesting help to find the appropriate nursing home.
Mother, Agnes Lillian Marie has times of emotional lucidity and other moments of slight confusion. She is aware of these times...some times. Agnes Lillian Marie has interest in others and how folks are doing. She continues to be keenly observant. And she has an adequate appetite. She likes her music. And appreciates staying as active as possible within her limits.
Dad, Thomas Gregory Patrick, is feeling better after his frightening intense muscle spasm yesterday. He is reminiscing about his youth. Uncle Aloysius (Thomas Christopher's youngest brother) helped Dad get a great resort place for the honeymoon. They had to interview before going to this place upstate New York. Cost was 15 dollars for the week.
Music fills the house here: Mario Lanzo—spiritual renditions of the Our Father and AVE Maria. Also peppy tunes from the 1840's ..actually that should say nineteen hundred forties...
David continues to fix, build, repair and assist in upkeep of the houses and vehicles..that is David Keith.
Greg Allen has his early morning shift at work. Leaves the house about 4am. Yesterday Greg and David were working on Greg's car.
David's next project might be Margaret Ann's car.
So, that is a small window on the world here from southern Oregon...
Peace, Tom
From: Mary
Sent: Nov 8, 2005 6:19 AM
Subject: info via Tom in Oregon
Hi, Since Mom is having lots of difficulties throughout the night (being incontinent) and Margaret is not getting sleep at night, they have found a place in a nursing home for Mom. She'll be going there within the next 2 or 3 days. Keep her in your prayers during her transition time.
From Diane:
Sent: Nov 8, 2005 10:14 PM
Talked to Tom today --
Tom is taking Mom to Royal Oaks (or Royal something) for an 11AM admission. Margaret will get there around noon to sign all the papers. Kathy volunteered to take some time off. Sara is standing by to assist. Susan & Dave are up at Kevin & Mindy's. Mom is willing to go visit. The last time we visited Highland House, she enjoyed it for about two hours then wanted to go home......and we went to plan B and took her to Margaret's retirement home. This time, Royal Oaks will keep her even if she doesn't want to stay. We all pray that she will adapt, adjust and enjoy the social interchange that she enjoys. One of Susan/Margaret's neighbors (Robin) works there so we'll get some great feedback.
Margaret -- enjoy sleeping again!! You've earned a special place in our hearts for all you've done.
United airlines had a special.....I made reservations a few days ago and will be in Oregon from Dec 1 to Dec 14. I've been in LA with the 'kids' for a week and will stay 'til Sat. Sunday is another open house for us. One day at a time.....
Gotta get ready to help in the classroom for Sherry's birthday tomorrow -- it was easier working then doing this volunteer work!!
From: Diane
2PM - November 9, 2005 --
Just got off the phone with Margaret. Mom is now an official resident of Royal Oaks. Margaret and Dad feel very good about it. Margaret said the atmosphere was upbeat, people were friendly, music was playing and she believes Mom will enjoy the food and social atmosphere once she settles in. Margaret stayed home this morning, gave Mom a shower, and curled her hair. Mom was okay with the idea of going one minute but in denial the next minute when she didn't believe that she needed ANY help. Dementia is cunning, powerful and baffling. Thankfully, Tom delayed his trip back home until Saturday so he volunteered to do the hardest job -- taking Mom to Royal Oaks and walk out while she's crying. Margaret did all the paperwork but didn't talk to Mom at Royal Oaks. Many of us realize how powerless we are to change Mom's perceptions of reality while she's upset.
Robin has already checked on Mom and reported back to Margaret. Helen has been hired to visit Mom for two hours a day for the next ten days. Helen has a marvelous way with Mom and lives only two miles away.
Margaret had a difficult time last night while putting Mom's name on all her clothes, packing knick knacks, etc. I had a difficult time focusing on helping Sherry in her classroom today. Today is Sherry's birthday so we'll celebrate most of the day (helping in the classroom, food, etc.) but I took time for a meeting at lunch today. Mom's grieving and adjusting to change will be more dramatic, but hopefully not as difficult as moving to Margaret's. Since Mom has adjusted to not seeing Dad most of the time, I hope, and pray, this adjustment is easier.
Margaret will be working 'til 8pm today -- parent/teacher conferences. Sherry's report cards are due tomorrow so she'll be busy tonight and I better get busy finishing her filing!
Will share more as we learn more ,,,,
From: Susan
Sent: Nov 9, 2005 3:35 PM
Tom twin....... thank you for staying and getting amazing results in getting a bed in royale garden....... now have you gone swimming for yourself....... perhaps one should stay the whole day at club northwest.... feel free to stay at my house whenever you want a quiet break for yourself........ must of been hard to leave her...... glad you were here to do that part for sure......you are good at what you do my dear...... peace and sleeping in warmth are your rewards........ think I should come home on Friday...... planning on leaving here on sat and meeting Kathy to meet our mutual friend who was dx with breast cancer in august..... we have yet to get over their to give her a hug....... however family has priority and if Margaret needs support I will return on Friday....... Mom is in good hands .. I will plan on seeing the folks on my return home on Friday or Monday whichever is needed....q==========================
From: Diane phonecon with Tom:
Tom stayed with Mom for three hours yesterday and would have stayed all day if it wasn't suggested that he leave and go swimming. I'm glad he followed the suggestion. Here's some of his stories....
Mom wouldn't let the intake nurse take her blood pressure. She didn't care that it was needed in order for her to stay. The nurse asked Mom where she lived. Mom said New York. The nurse asked Mom for the address. Mom said that we moved around a lot.
Tom & Mom entered the dining room to eat and a male patient declared “This IS a private dining room”. Diplomat Tom answered “Well we're moving in today”. Mom added “Maybe!”
Tom needed to be specific and direct to Mom's repeated questions..... examples: Tom - No, I cannot take you back home....even for one day because we might lose this available bed. Mom - Why wasn't I consulted? Tom -- You need so much help there's isn't enough people to do it. Mom -- I have 27 grandchildren and none of them will take care of me? Tom -- You are up every night from 2 to 4am and wet yourself and the bed. Mom -- No, I'm not. I sleep well. Mom told Tom she was sorry it had to be him to bring her there. Mom cried a few times of course.
The daytime head nurse is from Dublin, Ireland! Tom knows all the CNA's names now. Two of them were taking inventory and putting Mom's clothes away when he left.
Roommates are Mary and Marion. The one next to Mom had empathy and wisdom. She told Mom that it takes time to get used to being here. Tom put Mom's pictures up on the wall.
Mom told Jessica (CNA) that she was a stubborn woman and wanted to leave. Jessica told her to go ahead. Mom walked 1 1/2 steps and sat back down.
Mom didn't remember Robin until she saw her. Tom says Mom is good with her eyes. Robin has been Susan/Margaret's neighbor and family friend for decades. We are blessed that she works there and visited Mom twice yesterday.
Tom took Mom for a walk around the enclosed courtyard. It has rose bushes.
There is open visitation 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Want to send a card? Royale Gardens Health Center, 2075 NW Highland, Grants Pass, OR 97526.
I just called 541-476-8891 and asked how we can contact Mom. She said to call this number and be transferred to the R wing who will then get Mom from wherever she is and bring her to the phone. Of course, that could take a LONG time. An alternative is to have a phone installed next to her bed for $5 a week plus long distance charges.
From: Mary Pepper
Sent: Nov 9, 2005 3:19 PM
To: Diane
..thanks for the update.....tis a difficult day for all of us.....glad to hear that Helen will visit Mom 2 hours a day for ten days.....great idea!!!
From: Margaret Peterson
Sent: Nov 10, 2005 3:15 PM
a great letter I received from an old neighbor--
Hello Margaret,
I wanted to let you know I understand how hard this move for your Mom is. When I did it, it about broke my heart and I felt like I was letting my parents down. Now.. I can say it was the greatest act of love I could have done.
My Mom, was angry at first, confused, and wouldn’t speak to me for several visits. But as time went by, she thrived in a controlled atmosphere. She (as she was capable) enjoyed the activities, the music and meals being served to her. Everyday was the same routine and that alone made her calmer. Your Mom will be alright Margaret. She will settle in and before you know it, it will be home to her.
The hardest part for you will be the first visit...leaving was very hard. I learned (for my sanity) not to say good-bye...rather something along the lines of Love you Mom...and always leave with a hug or pat.
Keep the same routine each visit and in our case, my Mom didn’t have anxiety when we left.
I have you in my prayers, please don't let the guilt take over the great act of love you are doing.
Remember you are as important as your parents and sometimes we lose track of “us” while caring for them. Take time for you now...your Mom will be in good hands, and we know there will be an angel watching her all the time.
Hugs, Bette
Sent: Nov 10, 2005 12:58 PM
Today -Voicemail message: Tom visited Mom TODAY and said she is adapting well. She was dressed and her hair was done. The staff is attentive to her needs.
From: Mom's brother - Uncle Gene in Boston
Sent: Nov 9, 2005 4:45 PM
Thank You for the update. Be assured, Agnes will adapt, adjust and eventually enjoy her new home - to the point where she would rather be there than anywhere else. When we brought Mary's Mother to our house (for Thanksgiving etc.) she couldn't wait to get back to her other HOME. It is (in my opinion) the right move at the right time. Very difficult to do but you should all feel wonderful for the care you provided as long as you did & be happy that your Mother had such a great life enjoying ALL her children, Grandchildren, etc. & HER MAN ... Keep in touch..... We will too ....... Love to all ... Uncle Gene & Aunt Mary ....
From: Tom
Sent: Nov 11, 2005 9:26 AM
Visited Mother twice yesterday.
She is significantly calmer ...
She reports that everyone is nice.
And it is a good facility.
The staff includes:
Maeve, RN from Dublin, Ireland. Trained in Belfast. Lives with her sister Diedre in a mobile home (has the next 5 days off)...Used to have an acre of land. Now storing things in a section of a rented barn (lawn furniture etc. ...will work with her sister putting up Christmas decorations for next few days)
Rhonda, certified medical aide... marvelous.
Jessica, the terrific....CNA...she was the one who let mother decide to walk home....Very talkative...and good with mother.
Heather...just switching from nights to days... It was a whirlwind of activity for her....
Sue, very sweet and attentive.
Good David, busy, active and humorous.
Super Eva...very compassionate and helpful..
Stephanie...young, very responsive.
Charlie(Charlene)..she does the laundry...lost her name tag...because her young children at home were playing with it. prefers to be called Charlie
PM shift:
Angela...the angel...LPN...
Sue, sweet (see above.)
Carol(not sure of the name..older woman...very attentive.)
And Amber....likes to eat Frito-lay funnyuns...onion ... She was extremely flexible and kind with mother yesterday..She helped clean up a mess...Even when she was scheduled to do something else.
Marian C. is in the bed next to mother's. She is very thoughtful and helpful.She has a daughter in Rogue River who visits. She is a widow who also lost 2 sons. Has had some strokes. She has a nifty wheel chair. Uses oxygen when in bed. Blind in one eye... Very friendly. Likes it at Royale Gardens Health and Rehabilitation center.
Other roommate is Mary...she seems confined to bed...
Today I will visit in the am/ and in the pm...
Kathy will visit today also,
Today will be my last visit since I leave early tomorrow.
It is nice to have visitors to accompany mother during meals.
Breakfast is at 8:30 and lunch is at 12:30..
Visitors can purchase there own lunch for a nominal fee..
Mother likes going out to the courtyard and looking at the hills. There is also a beautiful maple tree which is golden yellow and red...Roses are in bloom.
Yesterday, mother and I sat out there for about an hour.
There was a 7 year old boy out there playing with a top/tire toy.. He entertained mother for a long time... It was a bright and sunny afternoon...
That is all for today....God bless.
Tom
From: Margaret Peterson
Sent: Nov 13, 2005 4:23 PM
I did it--I went and saw Mom last night--Saturday around 5 PM--there was some mix-up about her shoes --so I went to check it out--it was a piece of cake--Mom was in an excellent mood--enjoying her lady friends--and it was close to dinner time--that she was anxiously awaiting----that woman loves to eat---we visited for a bit--walked around--or I pushed her around--then left her at the dinner table with 4 other ladies-- she said bye--see you later---and it was that easy--
Sunday
Dad asked me to take him to go see Mom and to go shopping---but first I had to go to Medford and get the shoes (expensive ones)--then I had to go to work and do lesson plans for my sub---then I took Dad to visit Mom--she did pretty well-seemed a bit bored and tired today--the place was not as lively as other visits by folks--but Mom was pleasant and agreeable--asked Dad several times when she could come home and take care of him--he responded when Dr. Selinger released her from the nursing home---by now she probably does not remember that we were even there--David went earlier this AM--Dad liked the place except hated the heat---and had difficulty breathing cause it was soo stufffy--he stayed for about 45 minutes--then went outside and waited for me there---Mom likes her new shoes--and we brought her the funnies to read---nice nurse--on--2 nice assistants tooo--Sunday seems to be a down day--rest/visit time---
took Dad shopping after that--what an adventure--now he is home making his dinner and I am off to Bacci's to meet up with family and the Petersons--Grandma P. and Ladona are here--- invited Dad but he said no--too much in one day---sooo happy rainy Sunday
Love Margaret
From: Diane
Sent: Nov 14, 2005 2:53 PM
Subject: talked with Dad
My computer is broke....so I waited to use the library or bank's internet cafe.
I had a lovely, long conversation with Dad on Saturday.
Dad said Mom called asking to come home. She normally asks that question every time she talks to Dad. He said her mind seemed sharp. Someone sang/talked “Whatever will be, will be.....case sera, sera”. The aide got on the phone and suggested some sneakers to help her walk.
Bill Brady (good friend from church) believes that Mom is in the best nursing home.
Meals are great. Mom does love to eat.
Nursing home says it takes two weeks to adjust.
Dad called Mom's friends (from Legion of Mary) and parish priest. Priest went to see Mom and two Legionnaires will bring Mom communion every week. Mom didn't stay in touch with friends but I was impressed with how many people knew her and were happy to see her when we went to Mother's day brunch a few months ago. She was also well known for her volunteer work at St. Vincent de Paul's thrift store. Sherry has a video from a few years ago with Mom walking down the stairs, waving, getting into her car, and driving off to work. It seems like a different lifetime!
Dad says he's reading more now and thinking about subscribing to the Wall Street Journal instead of the local paper. His goal is to rejuvenate some of his old letters to the editor and submit them to a wider audience. His typing table is cleaned off and ready to go. You go Dad!
From: Sue Cotner
Sent: Nov 15, 2005 7:57 PM
Subject: Mom
Greetings..... visited Mom today at royal gardens..... she was happy, hair curled, clean clothes, pain free, .. feet walking in her wheelchair.... said people were nice..... she was interested in what was for supper.... did not remember Tom bringing her here but felt she had been their for a while....went to rose garden.... listen to guy playing guitar.... she constantly said hi to people she passed.... seem most contented..... unbelievable so...... staff wants to move her to A wing... more nurses aids, own activities director.... meet both...very nice..... Dad, Margaret agree to move.... will go and help in AM with this move..... consulted with robin who agreed so it will be.... Dad was walking better today.... went to bank, vitamin story and naturally to store for water..... ahhhh my bed time....nice visit with Kev and min..... Kaden is so cute.... smiling a lot and a jumping machine with his john jump up....... kind of nice that he seem to remember us.... no stranger fear noted...... miss Kittiara is a crawling machine .... all over..... Sean and cry are attempting to put things up...however not nearly as quick as the child is capable of reaching....... hugs and blessings..... Boots, kindly forward to Uncle Gene.... he was right that Mom would adjust.... I was most surprised that she's doing so..so soon..... hugs.....
Subj: Prayers for Kayden
(message from Susan)....Please pray for Kaden. He was in the hospital yesterday for cranial swelling. He was helicoptered today to Portland for MRI, check for meningitis, see a neurologist etc.....
So, pray for his healing and a healthy recovery.
Susan’s secretary,
Mary
From: Mary Pepper
To: Cotner Susan
Sent: Friday, November 18, 2005 9:26 PM
Kayden’s in our prayers. Keep in touch. I emailed the family.
If there's anything else that I can do, please just ask!
love, Mary
From: Sue Cotner
To: Mary Pepper
Sent: Saturday, November 19, 2005 9:50 AM
thanks.... we are on our way north this am...... will pick up Bri and see..... still fever, 103. without Advil.....bulging fontelle, sleepy, not eating.... etc.... cultures are negative..... medicine naturally is clueless....he is not any worse or better...this is good...chat later..... q... Kev called this am.... he sounded calm and in control.... he is getting used to these monthly trips north... this child has seem more specialist than the man in the moon.... pediatric neurologist to come today ..we hope and infectious disease doc offer no insight..yesterday..... thanks for prayers.... GOD is in control here.....q...
From: Margaret
Sent: Nov 22, 2005 5:19 PM
Mom fell at nursing home again---they sent her to ER--I got a call around 9ish--went over from work--stayed till after twelve--ambulance took her back to nursing home--- has lots of bruises--no broken bones--pretty confused--
Kathy and Shelby and Helen going to visit her early and late this afternoon---
From: Margaret
Sent: Wednesday, November 23, 2005 6:07 PM
Helen saw Mom twice today--this morning she was in her exercise class--kicking a ball back and forth with the other gals--Helen said she looked good--was dressed nice and in a good mood--
then she went again around 4PM--took Mom to the kitchen for a cup of tea--said Mom was still doing good---much improved over yesterday---doesn't even remember yesterday--she said the gals working with her tonight assured Helen they would take good care of Mom--she told them Mom likes MASH and they were going to start putting it on at night for her---
soo I am feeling much better today--
From: Susan
greeting siblings..... today... took Dad to dermatologist appointment... he has lots of them.... removed and sutured 3 areas on face and neck... then we went and saw Mom at 12ish and she seem happy and naturally wanted to come home... Dad walked with her in wheelchair, holding hands...my job to remain silent and push the wheelchair.... I introduce Dad to the nurse in charge of unit...Cari.... he liked her.... we visited outside of unit by fireplace and after an hour we left and Cari wheeled Mom back to the tv/rec room....she did not cry and Dad did very well with chatting with her and staying by her side.... much better than first time...naturally then hit the grocery story which is no longer called market of choice but rays.....and did hour daily shopping list....Dad seemed to have lots more energy than just a mere week ago... he was able to do all these without tiring.... came back...cooked soup... put on potatoes etc... usually chatted about his days in the library... Joyce sent him a quilt.... ask him about it...profound story..... nothing has change in the dinner routine... as you will see .... Diane...he is hoping you will give him so tips on how to use the computer.... bring extra patience.... .. so Kaden is doing great..... thank you all for prayers...... off to do some cooking.... Brian headed down currently..... hugs.....q
From: Mary
Just returned from a wonderful trip to Nashville. It was so heartwarming to see Jeremy, Ceci, Matthew, Tracy, and Colleen for a whole week. We spent a lot of time together and have some treasured memories. Jeremy and Ceci hosted a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner. We all assisted Jeremy and Ceci in putting up their Christmas tree and celebrating an early Christmas. Matthew, Tracy and Colleen took us to various places throughout Nashville.
So, just received your phone message. Thanks for thinking about J & M's birthday. Here are their numbers:
When I chatted with Margaret on Tuesday, she said she was looking forward to your visit. I wonder if Dad will say to me when I come.....”Diane did it this way, Diane did it this way.......” We'll see.
From: Margaret
Helen and I met at royal gardens and visited with Mom on Saturday---she is doing okay but definitely deteriorating---my opinion--the people that work there are very good though the patients---the patients in the Alzheimer’s wing are a bit more gone than Mom--her complaint was that there was no one to talk to---hopefully in time she will find a friend there--we took Mom for a walk and for a cup of tea--brought her in some ice cream--but she said it was too cold----also took them in a fruit cake from Mrs. Peterson---
had the nurse move the extra bed out and relocate her chair--better setup now---hope she uses her chair more--
From: Susan
GREETINGS FROM SNOWFLATED SOUTHERN OREGON...... JUST AN UPDATE.... BOOTS.... I SAW THE COCOA IN WHITE CLOSET AND WONDERED WHO IN THE WORLD WOULD THINK DAD WOULD USE THAT ... HOWEVER THE OTHER DAY HE SAID HE USED IT IN THE SOY MILK AND IT WAS DELICIOUS...... ONE NEVER KNOWS WHAT THAT MAN WILL TRY...... SAW MOM TODAY...HER HAIR WAS CURLED, SHE WAS IN THE LUNCH ROOM.... CHATTING.... ANNA LENKNECK THE OSBUSEMAN FOR OREGON NURSING HOMES AND A PERSONAL FRIENDS OF THE FOLKS WAS THEIR AND SAID SHE WOULD BE SEEING MOM FOR 2-3 TIMES WEEKLY... MARGARET SHE GAVE HER 2-3 WINTER CHRISTMAS SWEATSHIRTS WHICH THEY WERE WASHING....AND PUTTING HER NAME ON.... DAVE AND I THEN SEE DAD.... I HAD BEEN THEIR YESTERDAY FOR SHOPPING, ECT... BUT HE NEEDED DAVE TO DO SOME MANNLY THINGS.... HE WAS STILL IN BED AT 1130... HOWEVER CHATTY AND UPBEAT..... HIS WOUND FROM SKIN BX ARE HEALING AND HE IS HAVING A MUCH EASIER TIME THAN IN PRIOR..... SIBLING...ENJOY THE CHRISTMAS SEASON..... OFF TO ASHLAND WITH KRIS FOR NURSE SEMINAR AND A VIEW OF CHRISTMAS LIGHTS.... MAYBE BOOTS WE CAN GO TOO...... DAD IS LOOKING FOWARD TO MORE COMPANY
Aunt Diane,
Thanks for the birthday message that you left on my phone. The day went really well, and I even got some cake at work!
Colleen and I have just put the finishing touches on "Grandpa's Greatest Hits, Volume II", so hopefully he will have received it by the time that you get up there.
Any luck on selling the house?
Take care, Matthew
From: Mary
Do you know what I miss? ….talking to Mom on the phone…..While you are in Oregon, perhaps you can figure out a way that us Albuquerqueans and Chicagoans etc can call Mom occasionally.
Thanks, love, Mary
How is Margaret doing????? relieved to have her home back etc????????
Thanks, love, Mary
Hi siblings,
I arrived Saturday and was met by Kittiara Amelia Rene and her grandmother Sue. Sue did the driving back to RR. The baby slept in the back seat. Met the clan. Visited Rogue River and went to Grants Pass.
Dad had the cruise ship hospitality ready.....two pieces of hard candy on the dresser next to the bed. Mother said she was surprised by the visit. We chatted and planned the next day. Dinner out and then some gambling.
Sunday, went to church with Dad. Met Bill Bradley (usher) who said to say hello to mother.
After the chores were done... Went to JJ North....met Margaret and Mother.
Margaret took off shopping. The 3 of us then had buffet delight.
Margaret came back...and we all went to the Peterson abode for some serious gambling... Jonny, Margaret, this writer and Mom and Dad... Dealers' choice--poker.... The money and laughter flowed for 75 minutes. Mother was the big winner. She tried to quit the game early. Jonathan told her that she could not leave early until we all had a chance to win our money back... Mother stayed and played until the end. She won more money.
Monday...this writer arrived at 416 at 5:55 am. The house was quiet. Mother called at 6:30 AM. Is anybody here? (she asks) She was surprised to see me..
We talked about the meal out and the card playing she did not recall. I gave her a more detailed description of Sunday’s activities. Then she seemed to remember. She was anticipating the dinner and cards for Monday. Poor dear.
After 8-9 attempts, I was able to get mother out of bed and over to the bathroom.
90 minutes later we were in the kitchen having breakfast. Mother enjoyed looking out the window. Meds and prune...taken as prescribed.
Chatted about NH (nursing home) and mother talked about her declining health. Took a power nap for 15 minutes on the couch. Mother dozed in the chair.
Sue and David came over...bearing purple colored healthy smoothies in tall wine glasses.
Stephanie and her son Ethan came over for the next shift at noon.
This writer took off for the YMCA with twin Sue. Back to GP...shopping for Dad.
Stories of his escapes from earlier years were shared.
Tuesday. Nov 1st. Feast of All Saints.
Planning on going to the 12:05 Mass for the Solemnity. At 11:50 AM Dad says he is not feeling well. Sits in the chair. Face pale. Breathing gets shallow. Dad asked for a blanket. Reports pain in both arms and back. This writer tries to take a pulse. The patient refuses. Phone call to Twin Sue. She is at the Y. David Cotner will find her. David calls the Y...and staff goes looking for Sue. She is already in the parking lot. Gets my message on her cell phone. Dad's breathing becomes more diaphragmatic. Color slightly better. Increasingly cold. Requests down jacket and thick winter mittens. Writer offers tea. Pt refuses. A few minutes later patient request cup of hot water...with lemon... Detailed instructions provided by patient. Writer complies. Unable to find the small spoon with the ridges on it. Patient agrees to accept any small spoon. Color and voice are getting stronger. Writer provides supportive care. Sue, twin, arrives...and listens to detailed report of patient. Apparently, not a heart attack or stroke. Probably intense muscle spasm...due to excessive exercising on Halloween. Mood of patient improves. Reports stiffness and gets up to start moving around... Recovery escalates...patient more amiable.
Sue starts cooking beets .... And goes to store. Tom stays with Dad. Sue returns...Dad's focus returns to household chores and concerns. Said that the whole episode was scary.
Everyone seems fine now.
Kathy phoned. Shelby Rose is improving her rash is getting lighter and the itching is abating. Kathy waiting for appt with specialist on seizures up in Portland. Say a prayer, if you would, for Sheila Danielle. She went for a second ultra sound....the first one maybe was not done correctly. Baby is in position...Sheila still has 9 weeks to go...
All for now.... Tom
From Tom:
Wednesday, November 02, 2005 2:17 PM
Subject: beautiful day in Oregon
The sun is shining. Dad is laughing. The trees are wonderful shades of red and golden yellow.
It is a spectacular day in Oregon. Shelby Rose is improving health wise. Still struggling with sleep issues. Kathy was up at 2am. That's Kathleen Theresa Christine.
Margaret is taking tomorrow off. Susan is looking after Kittiara Amelia Renee.
And Susan Joan Elizabeth will be working the next 5 evenings---5pm-1am...
Margaret Ann Patricia is requesting help to find the appropriate nursing home.
Mother, Agnes Lillian Marie has times of emotional lucidity and other moments of slight confusion. She is aware of these times...some times. Agnes Lillian Marie has interest in others and how folks are doing. She continues to be keenly observant. And she has an adequate appetite. She likes her music. And appreciates staying as active as possible within her limits.
Dad, Thomas Gregory Patrick, is feeling better after his frightening intense muscle spasm yesterday. He is reminiscing about his youth. Uncle Aloysius (Thomas Christopher's youngest brother) helped Dad get a great resort place for the honeymoon. They had to interview before going to this place upstate New York. Cost was 15 dollars for the week.
Music fills the house here: Mario Lanzo—spiritual renditions of the Our Father and AVE Maria. Also peppy tunes from the 1840's ..actually that should say nineteen hundred forties...
David continues to fix, build, repair and assist in upkeep of the houses and vehicles..that is David Keith.
Greg Allen has his early morning shift at work. Leaves the house about 4am. Yesterday Greg and David were working on Greg's car.
David's next project might be Margaret Ann's car.
So, that is a small window on the world here from southern Oregon...
Peace, Tom
From: Mary
Sent: Nov 8, 2005 6:19 AM
Subject: info via Tom in Oregon
Hi, Since Mom is having lots of difficulties throughout the night (being incontinent) and Margaret is not getting sleep at night, they have found a place in a nursing home for Mom. She'll be going there within the next 2 or 3 days. Keep her in your prayers during her transition time.
From Diane:
Sent: Nov 8, 2005 10:14 PM
Talked to Tom today --
Tom is taking Mom to Royal Oaks (or Royal something) for an 11AM admission. Margaret will get there around noon to sign all the papers. Kathy volunteered to take some time off. Sara is standing by to assist. Susan & Dave are up at Kevin & Mindy's. Mom is willing to go visit. The last time we visited Highland House, she enjoyed it for about two hours then wanted to go home......and we went to plan B and took her to Margaret's retirement home. This time, Royal Oaks will keep her even if she doesn't want to stay. We all pray that she will adapt, adjust and enjoy the social interchange that she enjoys. One of Susan/Margaret's neighbors (Robin) works there so we'll get some great feedback.
Margaret -- enjoy sleeping again!! You've earned a special place in our hearts for all you've done.
United airlines had a special.....I made reservations a few days ago and will be in Oregon from Dec 1 to Dec 14. I've been in LA with the 'kids' for a week and will stay 'til Sat. Sunday is another open house for us. One day at a time.....
Gotta get ready to help in the classroom for Sherry's birthday tomorrow -- it was easier working then doing this volunteer work!!
From: Diane
2PM - November 9, 2005 --
Just got off the phone with Margaret. Mom is now an official resident of Royal Oaks. Margaret and Dad feel very good about it. Margaret said the atmosphere was upbeat, people were friendly, music was playing and she believes Mom will enjoy the food and social atmosphere once she settles in. Margaret stayed home this morning, gave Mom a shower, and curled her hair. Mom was okay with the idea of going one minute but in denial the next minute when she didn't believe that she needed ANY help. Dementia is cunning, powerful and baffling. Thankfully, Tom delayed his trip back home until Saturday so he volunteered to do the hardest job -- taking Mom to Royal Oaks and walk out while she's crying. Margaret did all the paperwork but didn't talk to Mom at Royal Oaks. Many of us realize how powerless we are to change Mom's perceptions of reality while she's upset.
Robin has already checked on Mom and reported back to Margaret. Helen has been hired to visit Mom for two hours a day for the next ten days. Helen has a marvelous way with Mom and lives only two miles away.
Margaret had a difficult time last night while putting Mom's name on all her clothes, packing knick knacks, etc. I had a difficult time focusing on helping Sherry in her classroom today. Today is Sherry's birthday so we'll celebrate most of the day (helping in the classroom, food, etc.) but I took time for a meeting at lunch today. Mom's grieving and adjusting to change will be more dramatic, but hopefully not as difficult as moving to Margaret's. Since Mom has adjusted to not seeing Dad most of the time, I hope, and pray, this adjustment is easier.
Margaret will be working 'til 8pm today -- parent/teacher conferences. Sherry's report cards are due tomorrow so she'll be busy tonight and I better get busy finishing her filing!
Will share more as we learn more ,,,,
From: Susan
Sent: Nov 9, 2005 3:35 PM
Tom twin....... thank you for staying and getting amazing results in getting a bed in royale garden....... now have you gone swimming for yourself....... perhaps one should stay the whole day at club northwest.... feel free to stay at my house whenever you want a quiet break for yourself........ must of been hard to leave her...... glad you were here to do that part for sure......you are good at what you do my dear...... peace and sleeping in warmth are your rewards........ think I should come home on Friday...... planning on leaving here on sat and meeting Kathy to meet our mutual friend who was dx with breast cancer in august..... we have yet to get over their to give her a hug....... however family has priority and if Margaret needs support I will return on Friday....... Mom is in good hands .. I will plan on seeing the folks on my return home on Friday or Monday whichever is needed....q==========================
From: Diane phonecon with Tom:
Tom stayed with Mom for three hours yesterday and would have stayed all day if it wasn't suggested that he leave and go swimming. I'm glad he followed the suggestion. Here's some of his stories....
Mom wouldn't let the intake nurse take her blood pressure. She didn't care that it was needed in order for her to stay. The nurse asked Mom where she lived. Mom said New York. The nurse asked Mom for the address. Mom said that we moved around a lot.
Tom & Mom entered the dining room to eat and a male patient declared “This IS a private dining room”. Diplomat Tom answered “Well we're moving in today”. Mom added “Maybe!”
Tom needed to be specific and direct to Mom's repeated questions..... examples: Tom - No, I cannot take you back home....even for one day because we might lose this available bed. Mom - Why wasn't I consulted? Tom -- You need so much help there's isn't enough people to do it. Mom -- I have 27 grandchildren and none of them will take care of me? Tom -- You are up every night from 2 to 4am and wet yourself and the bed. Mom -- No, I'm not. I sleep well. Mom told Tom she was sorry it had to be him to bring her there. Mom cried a few times of course.
The daytime head nurse is from Dublin, Ireland! Tom knows all the CNA's names now. Two of them were taking inventory and putting Mom's clothes away when he left.
Roommates are Mary and Marion. The one next to Mom had empathy and wisdom. She told Mom that it takes time to get used to being here. Tom put Mom's pictures up on the wall.
Mom told Jessica (CNA) that she was a stubborn woman and wanted to leave. Jessica told her to go ahead. Mom walked 1 1/2 steps and sat back down.
Mom didn't remember Robin until she saw her. Tom says Mom is good with her eyes. Robin has been Susan/Margaret's neighbor and family friend for decades. We are blessed that she works there and visited Mom twice yesterday.
Tom took Mom for a walk around the enclosed courtyard. It has rose bushes.
There is open visitation 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Want to send a card? Royale Gardens Health Center, 2075 NW Highland, Grants Pass, OR 97526.
I just called 541-476-8891 and asked how we can contact Mom. She said to call this number and be transferred to the R wing who will then get Mom from wherever she is and bring her to the phone. Of course, that could take a LONG time. An alternative is to have a phone installed next to her bed for $5 a week plus long distance charges.
From: Mary Pepper
Sent: Nov 9, 2005 3:19 PM
To: Diane
..thanks for the update.....tis a difficult day for all of us.....glad to hear that Helen will visit Mom 2 hours a day for ten days.....great idea!!!
From: Margaret Peterson
Sent: Nov 10, 2005 3:15 PM
a great letter I received from an old neighbor--
Hello Margaret,
I wanted to let you know I understand how hard this move for your Mom is. When I did it, it about broke my heart and I felt like I was letting my parents down. Now.. I can say it was the greatest act of love I could have done.
My Mom, was angry at first, confused, and wouldn’t speak to me for several visits. But as time went by, she thrived in a controlled atmosphere. She (as she was capable) enjoyed the activities, the music and meals being served to her. Everyday was the same routine and that alone made her calmer. Your Mom will be alright Margaret. She will settle in and before you know it, it will be home to her.
The hardest part for you will be the first visit...leaving was very hard. I learned (for my sanity) not to say good-bye...rather something along the lines of Love you Mom...and always leave with a hug or pat.
Keep the same routine each visit and in our case, my Mom didn’t have anxiety when we left.
I have you in my prayers, please don't let the guilt take over the great act of love you are doing.
Remember you are as important as your parents and sometimes we lose track of “us” while caring for them. Take time for you now...your Mom will be in good hands, and we know there will be an angel watching her all the time.
Hugs, Bette
Sent: Nov 10, 2005 12:58 PM
Today -Voicemail message: Tom visited Mom TODAY and said she is adapting well. She was dressed and her hair was done. The staff is attentive to her needs.
From: Mom's brother - Uncle Gene in Boston
Sent: Nov 9, 2005 4:45 PM
Thank You for the update. Be assured, Agnes will adapt, adjust and eventually enjoy her new home - to the point where she would rather be there than anywhere else. When we brought Mary's Mother to our house (for Thanksgiving etc.) she couldn't wait to get back to her other HOME. It is (in my opinion) the right move at the right time. Very difficult to do but you should all feel wonderful for the care you provided as long as you did & be happy that your Mother had such a great life enjoying ALL her children, Grandchildren, etc. & HER MAN ... Keep in touch..... We will too ....... Love to all ... Uncle Gene & Aunt Mary ....
From: Tom
Sent: Nov 11, 2005 9:26 AM
Visited Mother twice yesterday.
She is significantly calmer ...
She reports that everyone is nice.
And it is a good facility.
The staff includes:
Maeve, RN from Dublin, Ireland. Trained in Belfast. Lives with her sister Diedre in a mobile home (has the next 5 days off)...Used to have an acre of land. Now storing things in a section of a rented barn (lawn furniture etc. ...will work with her sister putting up Christmas decorations for next few days)
Rhonda, certified medical aide... marvelous.
Jessica, the terrific....CNA...she was the one who let mother decide to walk home....Very talkative...and good with mother.
Heather...just switching from nights to days... It was a whirlwind of activity for her....
Sue, very sweet and attentive.
Good David, busy, active and humorous.
Super Eva...very compassionate and helpful..
Stephanie...young, very responsive.
Charlie(Charlene)..she does the laundry...lost her name tag...because her young children at home were playing with it. prefers to be called Charlie
PM shift:
Angela...the angel...LPN...
Sue, sweet (see above.)
Carol(not sure of the name..older woman...very attentive.)
And Amber....likes to eat Frito-lay funnyuns...onion ... She was extremely flexible and kind with mother yesterday..She helped clean up a mess...Even when she was scheduled to do something else.
Marian C. is in the bed next to mother's. She is very thoughtful and helpful.She has a daughter in Rogue River who visits. She is a widow who also lost 2 sons. Has had some strokes. She has a nifty wheel chair. Uses oxygen when in bed. Blind in one eye... Very friendly. Likes it at Royale Gardens Health and Rehabilitation center.
Other roommate is Mary...she seems confined to bed...
Today I will visit in the am/ and in the pm...
Kathy will visit today also,
Today will be my last visit since I leave early tomorrow.
It is nice to have visitors to accompany mother during meals.
Breakfast is at 8:30 and lunch is at 12:30..
Visitors can purchase there own lunch for a nominal fee..
Mother likes going out to the courtyard and looking at the hills. There is also a beautiful maple tree which is golden yellow and red...Roses are in bloom.
Yesterday, mother and I sat out there for about an hour.
There was a 7 year old boy out there playing with a top/tire toy.. He entertained mother for a long time... It was a bright and sunny afternoon...
That is all for today....God bless.
Tom
From: Margaret Peterson
Sent: Nov 13, 2005 4:23 PM
I did it--I went and saw Mom last night--Saturday around 5 PM--there was some mix-up about her shoes --so I went to check it out--it was a piece of cake--Mom was in an excellent mood--enjoying her lady friends--and it was close to dinner time--that she was anxiously awaiting----that woman loves to eat---we visited for a bit--walked around--or I pushed her around--then left her at the dinner table with 4 other ladies-- she said bye--see you later---and it was that easy--
Sunday
Dad asked me to take him to go see Mom and to go shopping---but first I had to go to Medford and get the shoes (expensive ones)--then I had to go to work and do lesson plans for my sub---then I took Dad to visit Mom--she did pretty well-seemed a bit bored and tired today--the place was not as lively as other visits by folks--but Mom was pleasant and agreeable--asked Dad several times when she could come home and take care of him--he responded when Dr. Selinger released her from the nursing home---by now she probably does not remember that we were even there--David went earlier this AM--Dad liked the place except hated the heat---and had difficulty breathing cause it was soo stufffy--he stayed for about 45 minutes--then went outside and waited for me there---Mom likes her new shoes--and we brought her the funnies to read---nice nurse--on--2 nice assistants tooo--Sunday seems to be a down day--rest/visit time---
took Dad shopping after that--what an adventure--now he is home making his dinner and I am off to Bacci's to meet up with family and the Petersons--Grandma P. and Ladona are here--- invited Dad but he said no--too much in one day---sooo happy rainy Sunday
Love Margaret
From: Diane
Sent: Nov 14, 2005 2:53 PM
Subject: talked with Dad
My computer is broke....so I waited to use the library or bank's internet cafe.
I had a lovely, long conversation with Dad on Saturday.
Dad said Mom called asking to come home. She normally asks that question every time she talks to Dad. He said her mind seemed sharp. Someone sang/talked “Whatever will be, will be.....case sera, sera”. The aide got on the phone and suggested some sneakers to help her walk.
Bill Brady (good friend from church) believes that Mom is in the best nursing home.
Meals are great. Mom does love to eat.
Nursing home says it takes two weeks to adjust.
Dad called Mom's friends (from Legion of Mary) and parish priest. Priest went to see Mom and two Legionnaires will bring Mom communion every week. Mom didn't stay in touch with friends but I was impressed with how many people knew her and were happy to see her when we went to Mother's day brunch a few months ago. She was also well known for her volunteer work at St. Vincent de Paul's thrift store. Sherry has a video from a few years ago with Mom walking down the stairs, waving, getting into her car, and driving off to work. It seems like a different lifetime!
Dad says he's reading more now and thinking about subscribing to the Wall Street Journal instead of the local paper. His goal is to rejuvenate some of his old letters to the editor and submit them to a wider audience. His typing table is cleaned off and ready to go. You go Dad!
From: Sue Cotner
Sent: Nov 15, 2005 7:57 PM
Subject: Mom
Greetings..... visited Mom today at royal gardens..... she was happy, hair curled, clean clothes, pain free, .. feet walking in her wheelchair.... said people were nice..... she was interested in what was for supper.... did not remember Tom bringing her here but felt she had been their for a while....went to rose garden.... listen to guy playing guitar.... she constantly said hi to people she passed.... seem most contented..... unbelievable so...... staff wants to move her to A wing... more nurses aids, own activities director.... meet both...very nice..... Dad, Margaret agree to move.... will go and help in AM with this move..... consulted with robin who agreed so it will be.... Dad was walking better today.... went to bank, vitamin story and naturally to store for water..... ahhhh my bed time....nice visit with Kev and min..... Kaden is so cute.... smiling a lot and a jumping machine with his john jump up....... kind of nice that he seem to remember us.... no stranger fear noted...... miss Kittiara is a crawling machine .... all over..... Sean and cry are attempting to put things up...however not nearly as quick as the child is capable of reaching....... hugs and blessings..... Boots, kindly forward to Uncle Gene.... he was right that Mom would adjust.... I was most surprised that she's doing so..so soon..... hugs.....
Subj: Prayers for Kayden
(message from Susan)....Please pray for Kaden. He was in the hospital yesterday for cranial swelling. He was helicoptered today to Portland for MRI, check for meningitis, see a neurologist etc.....
So, pray for his healing and a healthy recovery.
Susan’s secretary,
Mary
From: Mary Pepper
To: Cotner Susan
Sent: Friday, November 18, 2005 9:26 PM
Kayden’s in our prayers. Keep in touch. I emailed the family.
If there's anything else that I can do, please just ask!
love, Mary
From: Sue Cotner
To: Mary Pepper
Sent: Saturday, November 19, 2005 9:50 AM
thanks.... we are on our way north this am...... will pick up Bri and see..... still fever, 103. without Advil.....bulging fontelle, sleepy, not eating.... etc.... cultures are negative..... medicine naturally is clueless....he is not any worse or better...this is good...chat later..... q... Kev called this am.... he sounded calm and in control.... he is getting used to these monthly trips north... this child has seem more specialist than the man in the moon.... pediatric neurologist to come today ..we hope and infectious disease doc offer no insight..yesterday..... thanks for prayers.... GOD is in control here.....q...
From: Margaret
Sent: Nov 22, 2005 5:19 PM
Mom fell at nursing home again---they sent her to ER--I got a call around 9ish--went over from work--stayed till after twelve--ambulance took her back to nursing home--- has lots of bruises--no broken bones--pretty confused--
Kathy and Shelby and Helen going to visit her early and late this afternoon---
From: Margaret
Sent: Wednesday, November 23, 2005 6:07 PM
Helen saw Mom twice today--this morning she was in her exercise class--kicking a ball back and forth with the other gals--Helen said she looked good--was dressed nice and in a good mood--
then she went again around 4PM--took Mom to the kitchen for a cup of tea--said Mom was still doing good---much improved over yesterday---doesn't even remember yesterday--she said the gals working with her tonight assured Helen they would take good care of Mom--she told them Mom likes MASH and they were going to start putting it on at night for her---
soo I am feeling much better today--
From: Susan
greeting siblings..... today... took Dad to dermatologist appointment... he has lots of them.... removed and sutured 3 areas on face and neck... then we went and saw Mom at 12ish and she seem happy and naturally wanted to come home... Dad walked with her in wheelchair, holding hands...my job to remain silent and push the wheelchair.... I introduce Dad to the nurse in charge of unit...Cari.... he liked her.... we visited outside of unit by fireplace and after an hour we left and Cari wheeled Mom back to the tv/rec room....she did not cry and Dad did very well with chatting with her and staying by her side.... much better than first time...naturally then hit the grocery story which is no longer called market of choice but rays.....and did hour daily shopping list....Dad seemed to have lots more energy than just a mere week ago... he was able to do all these without tiring.... came back...cooked soup... put on potatoes etc... usually chatted about his days in the library... Joyce sent him a quilt.... ask him about it...profound story..... nothing has change in the dinner routine... as you will see .... Diane...he is hoping you will give him so tips on how to use the computer.... bring extra patience.... .. so Kaden is doing great..... thank you all for prayers...... off to do some cooking.... Brian headed down currently..... hugs.....q
From: Mary
Just returned from a wonderful trip to Nashville. It was so heartwarming to see Jeremy, Ceci, Matthew, Tracy, and Colleen for a whole week. We spent a lot of time together and have some treasured memories. Jeremy and Ceci hosted a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner. We all assisted Jeremy and Ceci in putting up their Christmas tree and celebrating an early Christmas. Matthew, Tracy and Colleen took us to various places throughout Nashville.
So, just received your phone message. Thanks for thinking about J & M's birthday. Here are their numbers:
When I chatted with Margaret on Tuesday, she said she was looking forward to your visit. I wonder if Dad will say to me when I come.....”Diane did it this way, Diane did it this way.......” We'll see.
From: Margaret
Helen and I met at royal gardens and visited with Mom on Saturday---she is doing okay but definitely deteriorating---my opinion--the people that work there are very good though the patients---the patients in the Alzheimer’s wing are a bit more gone than Mom--her complaint was that there was no one to talk to---hopefully in time she will find a friend there--we took Mom for a walk and for a cup of tea--brought her in some ice cream--but she said it was too cold----also took them in a fruit cake from Mrs. Peterson---
had the nurse move the extra bed out and relocate her chair--better setup now---hope she uses her chair more--
From: Susan
GREETINGS FROM SNOWFLATED SOUTHERN OREGON...... JUST AN UPDATE.... BOOTS.... I SAW THE COCOA IN WHITE CLOSET AND WONDERED WHO IN THE WORLD WOULD THINK DAD WOULD USE THAT ... HOWEVER THE OTHER DAY HE SAID HE USED IT IN THE SOY MILK AND IT WAS DELICIOUS...... ONE NEVER KNOWS WHAT THAT MAN WILL TRY...... SAW MOM TODAY...HER HAIR WAS CURLED, SHE WAS IN THE LUNCH ROOM.... CHATTING.... ANNA LENKNECK THE OSBUSEMAN FOR OREGON NURSING HOMES AND A PERSONAL FRIENDS OF THE FOLKS WAS THEIR AND SAID SHE WOULD BE SEEING MOM FOR 2-3 TIMES WEEKLY... MARGARET SHE GAVE HER 2-3 WINTER CHRISTMAS SWEATSHIRTS WHICH THEY WERE WASHING....AND PUTTING HER NAME ON.... DAVE AND I THEN SEE DAD.... I HAD BEEN THEIR YESTERDAY FOR SHOPPING, ECT... BUT HE NEEDED DAVE TO DO SOME MANNLY THINGS.... HE WAS STILL IN BED AT 1130... HOWEVER CHATTY AND UPBEAT..... HIS WOUND FROM SKIN BX ARE HEALING AND HE IS HAVING A MUCH EASIER TIME THAN IN PRIOR..... SIBLING...ENJOY THE CHRISTMAS SEASON..... OFF TO ASHLAND WITH KRIS FOR NURSE SEMINAR AND A VIEW OF CHRISTMAS LIGHTS.... MAYBE BOOTS WE CAN GO TOO...... DAD IS LOOKING FOWARD TO MORE COMPANY
Aunt Diane,
Thanks for the birthday message that you left on my phone. The day went really well, and I even got some cake at work!
Colleen and I have just put the finishing touches on "Grandpa's Greatest Hits, Volume II", so hopefully he will have received it by the time that you get up there.
Any luck on selling the house?
Take care, Matthew
From: Mary
Do you know what I miss? ….talking to Mom on the phone…..While you are in Oregon, perhaps you can figure out a way that us Albuquerqueans and Chicagoans etc can call Mom occasionally.
Thanks, love, Mary
How is Margaret doing????? relieved to have her home back etc????????
Thanks, love, Mary