Oregon 2005 April

Sent: Wednesday, April 06, 2005 10:17 PM

Subject: Diane - April visit to Oregon

I’m back -- at least in body -- it feels like I was just here yesterday! My slippers, nightgown and sweats were waiting for me in the bottom drawer....

Had a lovely visit with Shelia on the ride from the airport, grabbed a short visit with Kathy, Sara, Shelby, Evan & Joey before walking around the block to Margaret's. Grabbed a visit with Margaret since Mom was at Susan's! While chatting, Mom called -- this is Agnes Glennon, is Sara there? I'm ready to go home.... So we moseyed (is that a word? like meandered) down to see Susan & David. I've seen more people in the last hour then I did on the last week I was here -- how nice! We distracted Mom with needing to feed me and looking at Susan's Argentina and new grandbaby pictures.
Mom seems to know who I am this time (because Susan showed her a picture of me an hour ago!). Dad was just finishing his soy pop (dessert after dinner every night) when we arrived. We had a cup of tea while he did dishes. Then Mom & I played double solitaire -three games -- she accuses me of cheating. Dad encourages her & we get to chuckle. She remembers how to lay out the cards (four down, one up, three down, etc) but it's too confusing playing that way so I just put four down and four up and we turn over one card, not every three. She agrees to the modified rules but then forgets so she says I'm cheating. At least this way we actually get to finish the game. Of course (sometimes) if she plays a card, I remind her that she gets to play another. When I play a card, she thinks it's her turn right away. It's not worth correcting at all!
When she said she was getting tired, I asked Dad if he wanted to trade beds tonight since I'm not attuned to the nightly noises yet. He said no. Mom wanted to know why. I said that way Dad wouldn't hear her getting up at night and I would be able to help her (if she needed it) instead. She immediately said that she would just sleep on the living room couch then. Dad, in exasperation, mumbled just leave everything the way it is. I agree and went back to talking about cards. Luckily Mom didn't pursue it either.
Mom & Dad went to bed around 9:30pm -- it took me awhile to set up this computer and check my work email.... Mom just got up for her first potty break....
Better grab some sleep until ....
Love to all,
Diane

Thursday:
Wed PM -- Mom was up 10:30, 10:45, 11:30, 1am then 7:30am. She might have been up more but I sure didn't hear her.
In the middle of the night she asked Dad twice to go for a ride today. She doesn't remember asking but we went for a ride and stopped to visit Arbor House -- a residential care facility in Grants Pass that also does daycare (told Mom we were going to a place like a club where older people got together). We stayed for an hour or so, got the tour, sat with the 15 residents having pieces of conversation, joined in on their exercise and ball tossing time, and went around the room sharing something about yourself since we were newcomers. The questions were individualized -- how many sweet daughters do you have? Mom answered 'ten?' and looked at me for verification. Mom told Dad that she made some friends there.
We went to lunch at Black Forest and then shopping at Market of Choice (Mom stayed in the car and enjoyed the sunshine). Dad was just finishing breakfast when we returned. Made coleslaw (carrot/broccoli/cabbage/garlic) and flaxseed muffins. Mom did her share of peeling and cutting apples. Then she'd ask is there anything else you want me to do? So I gave her the flour/flaxseed meal/oat bran, dry stuff to stir. She repeated the question and got another 'job'. I finally figured my answer should be 'no' because she wanted to take a nap.

Dad gave me some secretarial jobs -- all the local senior resource paperwork that he's been collecting and review with the pharmacists the purpose of each medicine. I wrote the answer on the bottles (I do the same at home).

Dinner was normal -- salmon, etc -- with asparagus from my garden (yummy). Evening was low key -- crocheting and watching TV, etc until 9pm. We were ALL in bed by 9:30pm. Mom got up for the bathroom at 10:30pm, Dad got up for his snack in the dining room. I asked Dad to open my door when he went to bed.
I woke up at 4am and went back to sleep. I didn't hear Mom since 10:30pm last night until 7:30am and she went back to bed and is still there at 9am! Only Dad & Mom know how their night went! Yippee, I'm rested!

Friday:

Mom & I made it to our senior club about 1/2 hour late but she was willing to out in the rain with me 'cause I’m crazy about having adventures and meeting new people. Volunteers run this group and the caregivers all chip in and help each other. There were about 15 people today. Very friendly, coffee & snacks, read email jokes (Mom laughed quite a bit), arts & craft project, and a word game. Arts & craft theme -- April showers bring May flowers. They passed around a rain stick from Mexico. Someone had hot glued toothpick pieces crisscrossed inside of paper towel rolls. When you add beans and cover the ends, we had our own rain sticks. The fun was in the decorating. Mom is giving hers to Shelby. I'm saving mine for Richard. The interaction between people was great. Dad has it on his calendar to go with Mom & Helen in two weeks. There will be a caregiver support group that week. There's no get together next week.
We went grocery shopping on the way home. We created barley/black bean/asparagus/broccoli/carrot/onion soup and rhubarb after a rest. Dad says the rhubarb reminds him of his Mother. She made rhubarb every year whenever it was in season. Amazing how Dad eats the sugar-y rhubarb but says my flaxseed muffins are too sweet (I used ½ the sugar). It seems like over 50% of the day is in the kitchen one way or another! Maybe that's 75%. Mom & Dad are watching more TV then I've ever seen them before. I've learned how to wear my earplugs when they watch it. The shows about the Pope have been more interesting then I expected.
Margaret stopped by and we had an invigorating walk together. Silly Californian likes walking in the rain!
7pm -- after tea -- Mom was going to watch TV again. Redirecting -- how about a game instead? We played tidily winks and junior scrabble. I can tell she's played scrabble since the last time I played with her but it's still too much too finish the game (and it does get BORING but it's better then a blaring TV!). I'll look forward to tidily winks again though!
Dad's snack is done; Mom's been up twice since she went to bed at 9pm. I rubbed her feet and calves with MSN cream in the living room, then rubbed that red stuff on her knees in the bathroom and did the under the tongue artritis stuff. Her walking is slower (hard to imagine!) but she can get in and out of the car easier then my last trip. Most of the time she's getting up from a chair by herself -- started using the far side of the walker's seat to help when it's difficult. Each hour can be unique.
Dad is sneezing LOUD today and mumbles when he does (sensitive sinuses?).... Also spend LOTS of time in the bathroom. He's been in a good mood but rather quiet.
Snoozing time for me....
Good night....

Saturday --
chair aerobics - felt good since it was my first time since last month. Mom said she likes the 'man' (thai chai) better and wants to throw away chair dancing. I put chair dancing out of site below the TV.
Margaret & Mom made an angel food cake to celebrate Mom's birthday early while I was having an acupuncture treatment in the backroom. I'm amazed how my attitude, and actions, about health have changed since I've met Raven. Mom & I were invited to Kathy's for a tea party. Mom was VERY good remembering that she was going the afternoon before, the night before, in the middle of the night, early in the morning.... She really latched onto 'tea party' (this time anyway). Shelby, Kathy and Raven had geranium and lavender tea prepared when we arrived. We toasted each other over and over as Shelby drank her tea (primary purpose of tea party). We sang Happy Birthday to Mom, enjoyed the angel food cake and some flax seed muffins we brought along. Raven gave Mom some purple and while flowers -- nice decoration on the table too!
PM -- After Mom went to bed, Dad & I actually talked for quite awhile. He saw the 1st half of the Pope's life story. We had watched the 2nd half together. He caught me up on what I missed -- VERY interesting story. I also took care of some secretarial duties...timing just happened to be right.


Sunday --
Mom took a shower – she clucked like a chicken and flapped her arms as I rinsed off her armpits. Fun doing clucking and gobble, gobble sounds.
Church -- great music, beautiful view, nice fellowship, priest too difficult to understand his accent but interesting listening to the passion in his African sing song voice.

JJ North -- lunch -- earlier then normal because Mom was hungry -- she's had an appetite lately that is amusing to Dad. Dad said she ate three times while he was eating breakfast a day or two before I arrived. Tonight she wanted something so I gave her a slice of cantaloupe and orange. They sat on the end table as we talked about the new yarn I brought to make doilies for me/Sherry which sidetracked her from being tired unfortunately. She went to bed at 10pm. At 10:40pm she asked Dad if it's time to get up yet!! Dad went to bed at 8:30pm. He was tired and should be after the last few nights. Wish he'd change rooms but I'm not bringing that subject up again! I'm grateful (kind of -- for Dad's sake only) that I've heard Mom most of the time except for the second night I was here. Tonight Mom wanted a cup of tea (9pm) and I asked her to accept my suggestion that she sip water instead so maybe she won't get up to potty so often tonight. She doesn't want to be waking us up so agreed to give up the tea. She never did sip the tea either -- crocheting was THE topic. We watched the 50th anniversary tape four times in a row -- kept the music simple and soothing!

My mind is blank on anymore details -- but we've gotten back in the swing of banter, picking on each other and laughing here and there. Dad has slowed down lately -- spending lots of time in the bathroom and looking pale, tired and quiet when he comes out sometimes. Mom's walking and getting up/down have gone downhill. The first few days I didn't assist her getting up often at all. The last few days, she needs it most of the time and wobbles for awhile not knowing if she's going to be able to stay up once she gets up. Oh well, God's in charge.....

Better try and get some sleep -- part of me dreads it because I don't want to be woken up before my time -- actually this morning I woke up by myself---so Lov/er/ly! I stopped counting how many times we get up at night but I am grateful I don't have anything pressing to do in the mornings!

Monday:
Wonderful/strange night -- I waited for her to get up the first time so I wouldn't be jolted out of a deep sleep. It took 2 1/2 hours instead of the normal one-hour! Yippee! Less input = less output at least for last night. So I went to sleep at 12:30 and next heard her at 5am. She had her vest on over the nightgown so I know I missed at least one time getting up. Now it's 7am and we're up -- she's walking to the living room...

I jotted notes last night to write about----
While music was playing.... I asked Mom if she wanted to dance.... Since she didn't, I danced with her walker. It was fun to be silly. 'We' did spins and dips and laughed.
During 50th anniversary video, I was dancing to some song. Mom said it looked like I like to dance. She said I never went to dances when I was younger. I told her I only learned to like to dance in the last ten years or so. She said I did it well and had some good moves. That warmed my dancing self-image.
Mom has been remembering/forgetting how many children she has and what they're names are (she brings up the subject). She asked Dad if he could do it. Of course, he said yes and proceeded to do so. I WAS surprised at how slowly he said our names. He had challenged himself to say them by location groupings. Mom says girls first, then boys or vice versa.
When she's in the bathroom, sometimes I turn the walker around at the doorway so it's ready for her when she exits.
Looks like Mom is starting to sit down after rearranging her knick-knacks. Will go serve tea & banana and do some exercises.

Monday activities cont’d:

Dad set his alarm for 8am. We were out of the house around 10am heading to Medford. It was cloudy when we left. It poured for part of the trip. Mom & I sang songs (so she wouldn't keep asking questions!). Dad had the window open and bundled in a blanket, hat, etc. It was NOT raining when we arrived at the airport to take care of some business. Dad enjoyed talking to the bellhop and walking in the sunshine. People watching is a favorite pastime for Mom so she was content while I took care of business.
We rode in circles just a bit but found McGrath's fish restaurant for an early birthday celebration for Mom. Of course Dad asked the waitress questions about her life -- she was a bookkeeper who moved to a small Minnesota town, needed a job, became a waitress and found out she LOVED it. It showed. We enjoyed fish chowder, halibut and shrimp. Guess who had the shrimp? Mom's favorite! My mind is blank on what we talked about but it was all a pleasant time. Mom wanted to use the restroom after eating. She missed being served her birthday surprise desert and having Happy Birthday sung. We all enjoyed her desert!
We walked the shopping area and checked out Harry & Frank (or whatever the name is). Mom said she knew that store because it has FREE samples. Mom napped on the way home.
Margaret & Lori arrived so Lori could interview Dad for a paper she's writing. Timing was EXCELLENT because Mom had one of her passing out spells. Margaret and I spent some time cleaning her up and getting her to bed. She slept for two hours and woke up refreshed and perky. It's amazing how she keeps bouncing back. She had rice pudding and a piece of toast for dinner. Dad threw away the restaurant leftovers just in case they had any connection. I went for a walk -- one house down the block, three houses up the block -- over and over for some exercise and to talk on the cell phone to deal with my adrenal (sp?) pumping from all the excitement... until Dad stepped outside and said he needed help getting Mom up from her chair. Mom & I played double solitaire twice -- I'm getting used to ignoring the rules and just going with the general flow of the game.
We watched Home Improvement and went to bed around 9pm. I have my second wind -- we've been up quite a few times already. Mom is NOT making it out of bed by herself now. One time she decided it was too hard to finish getting up so laid back down and whined for at least a drink of water (as opposed to going to the bathroom!). I gave her the plastic bottle and she choked on the water. My mother-in-law passed away one-year ago at 1:30am. I was wondering if Mom was going to share the date with her. It's gonna be a rough night....
Dad shared that he was researching about prostate. He's getting up every 1 1/2 hours throughout the night plus for Mom in between once I stop hearing her. No wonder why he's tired.
I'm heading back to California tomorrow around lunchtime -- will return here May 4 PM through May 14. I'll return in Sept if there's still a need then.
My thoughts and prayers are with all the Oregonians in the coming weeks!!!
P.S. I'm looking forward to my own life for awhile!