Oregon 2003 Thanksgiving
Notes from Thanksgiving 2003 visit with Mom & Dad in Oregon
Thanksgiving dinner at Heather & Scott’s – the torch has been passed to a great generation.
Friday – 4:30 am – alarm went off. Shopping day after Thanksgiving. Crazy? Yep – I did it anyway ….at Fred Meyers, Staples, Gottschalks, JC Penny’s, & Rite Aid. The stores were getting too crowded around 8:30 am so I stopped and went home to nap.
Breakfast with Mom & Dad (amazing what I did before they eat breakfast!). Can Mom open my Christmas present yet? Nope – not until we decorate. But first, Mom wants to visit Margaret with me.
Mom & I had an adventure going to Rogue River. She likes taking the roads that parallel the freeway but neither of us remembers how to get started. We found two dead ends and went the wrong way on the freeway before finding our way on the north side of the freeway. We gave up looking for the south side. Mom wants to ride in the ‘country’. Last week she said she just looked out the living room window and didn’t need to go for a ride since she lives IN the country.
Mom helped Margaret pair up socks and fold laundry. Margaret has been known to have many unmatched socks. I tossed them all over Mom and then had to pick them up. We unpacked Christmas decorations. Sue, Margaret and I went walking with the dog. Mom watched Shelby. Dave Cotner took over when Mom went to the bathroom. Mindy fainted this morning while shopping with Heather. She’s napping now.
Mom walked from Margaret’s to Susan’s (amazing!) and then was very tired. We returned to Grants Pass on the south side of the highway. Mom said that’s she’s gone downhill a lot in the last few days (more like months & years) and if God wants her, she was ready. She’s not going to worry about it since she can’t do anything about it. I said when God wants her, we would let her go and miss her. We transitioned back to talking about beautiful scenery and other topics with ease. None of the conversation held more emotional power then another.
Supper with Dad – turkey soup, lamb chop, potato soup – everyone eats different leftovers. Dad finally tried my peach pie and really likes it. Not having too much sugar helps of course.
Quiet time – Mom reading the end of her book. Read the same end this morning but doesn’t remember it.
Dad’s humor again:
1. Their ‘cutting edge’ CD player (they had one before I had one!) was confusing for me to open and close the trays to change CDs. Dad patiently instructs – on top level the big button opens and little buttons plays. On middle level the little button opens and the big button plays. I fell for it for a short time.
2. As Mom is going to bed, Dad tells her that I want to do chair aerobics.
Sat AM Mom & Dad waking up. Mom asked what my plans were. Ideas evolved: Shopping at St. Vincent de Paul’s thrift shop was the first choice. Dad’s idea was for me to go to the mountains and cut down a Christmas tree. I said I needed a guide. So Mom volunteered Dad’s services. Nice to wake up laughing.
Breakfast w/Dad (late, of course) – asked about my retirement. I said Bill’s military retirement would be cut in half if he dies first. Mom questioned what would happen to her if Dad died first. Told her that we knew where all the papers are and that the funeral is already paid for. Mom concerned what would she do – answered we’d help. I said I even picked out my music but don’t remember for sure – maybe “You’ll Never Walk Alone”. Dad, straight faced, said he picked “Happy Days are Here Again” and some song I’ve never heard about – something about Glad He’s Dead. Mom knows she can’t live alone and knows her choice would be Margaret’s or a rest home. She’d like to tour a retirement home some day – has ‘never’ been to one. Reminded her she used to deliver communion there. Dad said it would make it easy if they both died together. I agreed. They thought that quite funny. The whole conversation was quite funny – not so much in the typing. Oh well…
Deal – Christmas music motivates me to decorate for Christmas. Music is on. I’m singing. Mom insults my singing. – said I sing just like Dad. I said “Thanks, I like how Dad sings.” I sing LOUDER. Later, Mom & I are going to the living room to exercise. She asked me to carry her tea. Witty Dad said to Mom, “She can’t carry a tune, but she can carry tea”. I thanked them for the insults and kept on singing. Did chair aerobics tape with Mom followed by the self-massage and accupressure section on the Tai Chai for Seniors.
Went shopping to music store, RiteAid and Staples.
Mom & Dad ready to go to St Vincent de Paul’s. Carol called from Mary’s home – celebrating December birthdays. Tom visiting. Went to visit Julie in cemetery. Couldn’t find her grave. Found Nick & Hyacinth. Carol remembered our Middle Village story of taking flowers (from the trashcans, NOT the graves). Joked about taking some graves.
Dropped Mom & Dad off at the back door of St Vincent de Paul’s thrift shop. I parked the car and couldn’t get in the same door they entered because the business was now closed! After momentary shock, I hoofed it around to the front door to try and get someone’s attention. When they opened the door to let a customer out, I said I needed to come in because my parents were IN the store. “The Glennons?” “Yes”. Glad Mom & Dad are well known at this thrift shop! We were even allowed to keep shopping. Dad and I picked two jackets for me within three minutes. Mom found a sweater and scarf. Paid for ‘em and left via the back door.
Next – grocery shopping is fun with Mom & Dad! Mom was shuffling around the store pushing the cart. Dad & I were bouncing all over the store and filling up the cart. I needed help from the store clerk to find barley and then I couldn’t find Mom. I found Dad and he knew that Mom was in the deli. They have their system down pat.
Picked up potatoes and frosties from Wendy. Made fresh string beans, beets and leftover chicken to combine with ‘em for dinner.
Made Dad a big pot of potato leek soup at his request. Mom cut the onions without crying. I finally found a BIG knife when I was almost done chopping. Lawrence Welk show was on TV followed by a folk rock tribute. Lots of singing and remembering watching Lawrence Welk for years as one of the two hours a week we were allowed to watch TV. They rolled their eyes as I rattled pots & pans trying to find a BIG pot – which was on the other side of the cabinet – reachable by doors on the other side from where I crouched.
In the living room, Mom & I watched the TV movie “Fallen Angel” which Sue had recorded. Dad was doing paperwork at the dining room table and kept asking questions – who, why, when, etc. Mom would threaten him to be quiet. I would ‘shush’ both of them. Mom napped and then asked the same who, why, when questions. Cute! It was a slow, but good movie. The night shots were so dark we guessed what was going on. Dad looked up the TV instruction book on how to brighten the picture. I was amazed to find out the black and white picture we were watching now had all the colors of the rainbow and was brighter. We wondered how long they’ve been watching black & white? Forgot it was a color TV – had black & white for so many decades that it seemed normal. Shelby did it! Sure!!! Dad probably did!
Sunday AM:
Up early – which doesn’t take much in Grants Pass! Used the HealthRider exercise bike in the guestroom. Went to Fred Myers to find a laundry sock bag for Mom and a CD holder for Dad (from Mom at Christmas).
Joined the folks for breakfast. My place was set with a teaspoon and I prefer to eat cereal with a tablespoon. Dad was up so I asked him for a bigger spoon. His sense of humor was working. I could hear the giggle as he presented me with a large slotted serving spoon. After laughing, I altered my request to a medium spoon and received what I wanted.
Going to take a nap – Dad still eating. They told me ‘this’ is the song they wake up to, play all day and have a speaker under their pillows (like my babbling brook under my pillow). He pressed the play button on the cassette player and both sang “Smile for me, my Diane”. Wish I had a recorder on.
Mom filled up two salt shakers on the table. I asked why two? One for Mom, one for Dad. Next question – why a third salt shaker on the table (it didn’t need filling yet). It’s for me or a guest.
Lunch after Mass:
Dad asked me for the butter. I handed him an empty container from the refrigerator. Unplanned, but great timing, after the spoon incident this morning!
Another story:
Dad wants the Health Rider in the guest bedroom but it does block the walking area between the beds. Mom wants it in the dining room but it might be easy to trip over. Neither agrees with each other – oh well. I redecorated the guest bedroom at 7 AM one morning….moved one bed to an opposite wall and put the HealthRider in a corner on an angle. When I heard the folks stirring, I told them that I had practiced my interior decorating skills but needed their opinions. They heartily approved the move. Everyone is happy and I liked being the peacekeeper.
p.s. Now there are two walkers in the house – on the kitchen side of each bedroom door. Dad uses his first thing in the morning only. He still exercises & stretches before getting up and going. Mom uses her cane all the time and resists the walker. She does talk to her feet and tell them to get going at times.
Summary – My visit felt like we were in an enclosed, safe bubble where strong emotions were nonexistent (98% of the time) and humor and kindness was surrounding us. I’m grateful I started writing notes to remember some of the many special moments as we kept it simple and just enjoyed what was in front of us as much as possible.
pps: I purchased some mistletoe from a teenager in front of a grocery store. Mom & Dad debated where to hang it. Once the location was decided and the mistletoe was hung, I encouraged them to use it! Of course, I wanted a picture of this unusual event (kissing in front of someone else). The battery on my camera must be getting low because the flash only went off in between three kisses. I’d say ‘ready’. They’d kiss. I’d click…. but nothing happened. They would look up and laugh. My camera would then take the picture. It happened three times. Guess it wasn’t meant to be…but we had fun trying.
Love,
Diane